You've found the person you love, picked a wedding venue, and selected a date. Now it's time to invite guests to your wedding! As you embark on this task, you'll quickly find out there's a whole new set of wedding invitation etiquette to learn. Sending out wedding invitations brings up all sorts of questions, from when to send wedding invitations to dealing with not inviting children.
While TWW Events doesn't offer invitation services, we often refer our clients to a partner vendor, like Jill of Page + Parcel, who has a passion for all things paper. We love collaborating with her on wedding stationery that include save the dates, invitation suites, menus, escort cards, signage and so much more!
To help take the guesswork out of choosing and ordering your wedding stationery, we've teamed up with Page + Parcel to answer some common (and often anxiety-inducing!) questions about the entire process.
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| Photographer: Gretchen Wakeman Photography |
When should we send our save the dates and invitations?
Traditionally, save the dates are mailed 4-6 months in advance, with invitations going out around 6-8 weeks before the wedding date. So when is the right time to order invitations? I’ve found that 4 months before your wedding is the sweet spot for ordering. If you plan to mail your invites 2 months before your wedding, ordering them 4 months in advance leaves us with 2 months for design and production. Make sure to allow extra time to address the envelopes if you're handwriting them, or sending them off to a calligrapher. That may sound like a long time, but keep in mind that it can take up to 4 weeks for just the printing portion. Planning a destination wedding or inviting a good amount of out of town guests? You’ll want to start your order about a month earlier.
Occasionally we can hurry the process along, but it’s best to take your time. You don’t want to be rushed when you’re reviewing proofs. I know from experience that the quicker you try to do something, the more likely you are to overlook an important detail, miss a typo, or even approve the wrong quantity!
How long should we give our guests to RSVP?
The general rule of thumb is to set your RSVP date for 4 weeks after you mail the invitations, giving your guests time to receive the invite and send back their response. For a local wedding, with very few guests coming in from out-of-town, set your RSVP date for 4 weeks before your wedding date, allowing up to six weeks to RSVP. Wedding RSVP etiquette for destination dictates starting earlier. Request your RSVPs back 6-7 weeks before the wedding date. This will also give you a little extra time to track down people you haven't heard from to ensure everyone is accounted for.
Can we add our wedding website information to the invitation?
Absolutely! Your guests will be excited to see it! You can include the information right on the invitation, or you can add a separate card to the invitation suite that lists the website.
Can we include our registry information on the invitation?
I highly advise against it. It's considered in poor taste to include registry information your on your wedding invitation. You should, however, include the registry information on your wedding website.
What if we don't want to invite kids?
When a guest receives an invitation, they should not assume their children are invited unless the invitation is addressed to the whole family (i.e. The Anderson Family) or the children's names are specifically listed on the invitation. You are more than welcome to include a notation within your invitation suite that your wedding is an "adult-only celebration". If you want to have an adults-only wedding and a lot of your guests have children, you can consider hiring a babysitter to watch all the children while the parents enjoy the wedding so you still enjoy a kid-free reception and your guests won't need to scramble for a sitter. If you will be offering childcare services, note it on your wedding website so your guests can plan accordingly.
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| Photographer: Stephanie Heymann Photography |
Should we invite guests we know can't come?
Once you've gone through the trouble of setting a wedding date, it can be a bummer to find out a friend or family member can't make it. However, if it's a guest you know will appreciate the gesture of receiving an invitation and will like having one as a memento, you should still formally invite them to be there with you to celebrate. Chances are they'll be thrilled to hear the details and will want to send you a gift, and that link to your wedding website will make finding your registry that much easier.
Any final words of wisdom to clients just about to start the process?
Many couples order their initial wedding suite of invitations, response cards, envelopes, and inserts and then forget the day-of paper goods until the last minute. Make sure to keep in mind table numbers, menu cards, ceremony programs, as well as thank you cards following the big day.
Oh, and a BIG pro tip.... don't guess on postage for your invitations! Take an entire assembled set to the post office to determine accurate postage before buying stamps! Don't forget, you'll need to stamp your RSVP envelopes too!
Oh, and a BIG pro tip.... don't guess on postage for your invitations! Take an entire assembled set to the post office to determine accurate postage before buying stamps! Don't forget, you'll need to stamp your RSVP envelopes too!
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| Photographer: Tara Nichole Photo |
